you had your reasons to pretend that i didn’t exist.
i had my reasons to long for your company.
i suppose in some ways, this makes us both unreasonable creatures seeking a sort of intersection comprised of disagreements, within a Venn diagram that was masked as a square.
somedays you have hope and believe in the impossible.
and someday, one day, finally, you wake up and you realize, he’s not the one making the moves, you are.
that’s the day when you really start to believe in the possibilities out there for you, and not in the impossible ones.
i’m not your friend.
i’m just some girl you met at a party the week before who you found somewhat interesting then but not anymore, so you didn’t bother keeping in touch with her, until you found yourself bored at the airport with no wifi while waiting for your flight, so then you decided to send a random text message to her just to kill time because that is what you do when you’re single and at an airport waiting to board your flight - you scroll down your contacts list, and you try to catch up with all the people who you don’t usually talk to because that is how you feel at the airport when you’re waiting to board your flight home - you feel invincible with lust and happiness.
i wish you were someone I found boring.
then i wouldn’t have taken the time to reply to your message, and then i wouldn’t have surprised you with my response, then you wouldn’t have been looking forward to seeing me when you were back, then you wouldn’t have made plans with me after you’re back, then you wouldn’t have pretended like i don’t exist anymore after our night out.
then we would’ve been strangers, not friends.
i’m not your friend.
sometimes one of the best closures is knowing that he never loved you anyway.
you can’t just start ignoring people after you’ve slept with them.
if you want to ignore people, you should be ignoring them before you sleep with them.
maybe i’m not meant to be loved like everyone else in that way. maybe if i had it, i wouldn’t appreciate it. maybe i’m not meant to be a lover. or a wife. or a mother. maybe i should listen to the signs by now. because no matter what stage i am in my life, how differently or similarly i behave to everyone i encounter, i always seem to end up in that same path.
maybe i am simply meant to take the less mediocre path.
maybe it’s just my destiny.
so maybe, i finally, surrender.
Wish you were here at #atlantis #palm #jumeirah #dubai #fronds #villas# view from my series #YesterdayWithoutYou #notiPhone #nofilter (at Palm Jumeirah نخلة جميرا)
all everyone does is cry and be sad and just lament about things that they refuse to change.
i don’t want to run to all that, again.
Parts of me that makes me self-conscious and cry
Parts of me where I grapple to accept
Parts of me where I fail to understand how lucky I am
eventually, the only ones that stay, the ones that think of you during their weekends as well, are the ones that are worth keeping, even when all you have to offer to them is your friendship.